"Love Is A Choice"

Love is a Choice

True love is not something we trip into and out of easily. God's love for us endures all things and does not change, even when we do. He doesn't love us for measuring up to a certain standard. He loves us because He is love himself. There is not one thing he does that is not motivated by love. When we fail, He does not reject us, but in his compassion reaches out to restore us. Though he sees the hardness, blindness and hypocrisy in our hearts, he still loves us. He loves us enough to not overlook these things, because he knows they will destroy us.

He loves us with a consuming, passionate, holy, jealous and gentle love. He loves us so much that he continually offers us forgiveness, comfort, encouragement, peace and joy. Finally, Jesus showed that He loves us more than his own life when he laid it down for us.

Because He loves us in this way, so we also are to love each other. Nowhere is God's love for us better illustrated than in marriage. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, that He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things that she might be holy and faultless. Even so husbands should love their wives as (being in a sense) their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church. We are member’s parts of his body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning (the relation of) Christ and the church.

However, let each man of you without exception love his wife (being in a sense) his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly" (Ephesians 5: 25-33, Amplified Bible).

I'd love to hear how your sharing and showing Love to Your Mate.

"This Thing Call Love".

This Thing Called Love

What is this thing called love?! There are a million different answers to the question.

Don’t you just love a great love story? I do! I enjoy the fantasy of today's romantic comedies found on TV, in Movies and Soap Operas; I like escapism as much as the next person. But, let's get real! Let's separate fact from fiction; what you see on TV and in the Movies is not real love and it never will be. I want to talk you about the heart-to-heart kind of love.

I'll going to share a true and lasting love story with you; it’s the treasured love story of my Grandparents Richard and Birdie Bass. My Grandparents had a 67 year good ole fashion meet you at the school dance love affair which stood the test of time.

They were born and raised in the Texas countryside with and old fashion value system. On many occasions my Papa and I would have our one-on-one heart-to-heart talks and he'd tell of his love at first sight encounter. He saw my Grandmother from across the room at a church choir practice; he said he knew in his heart she was the one for him. Just so happened that my Grandmothers brother and Grandfather were good friends, but didn’t know he had a younger sister. My Grandfather told her brother how much he wanted to meet her and take her to the school dance. My Grandmother Brother said it was ok with him but he would have to ask their Daddy and then ask her. My Grandfather was chivalrous and respectful he got permission.

Love at first sight did it exist for my Grandfather and the rest is a 67 year history of love. My Papa eventually asked my Grandmother to the school dance and of course she said yes. Twenty-five cents was a lot of money in the 1930’s, but he purchased her ticket and reaped a lifetime of love and true happiness.

I loved my Grandparents they were loving and kind to us and we maintained a close relationship. For years I’d sit at my Grandfather's feet and listen to him impart wisdom but my knowing and understanding of all that he said would come years later. My Grandparents adored each other she respected him and he took care of her. I saw an enduring love that's almost non-extsistant in today's society.

Texas is a beautiful countryside with all four seasons. The weather changed often without warning and so it is in marriage, they loved through all kinds of weather. They loved through severe electrical storms and various weather conditions. I remember the sudden weather changes well; one late Sunday evening my Grandparents ask my sister and I to pack-up the car. It's was time to leave Itasca and headed back to Waco. The Sky was overcast filled with heavy dark cloud but no rain in sight.

As we begin our journey back to Waco it started to rain, within minutes the rain became violent. It rained so hard the car was being tossed from side to side we begin to hear the thunder roaring and see the lightning strikes, it was frighten. My Grandmother begin to talk to my Grandfather he quitely reassured her that everything was going to be alright. I recall that day as if it were yesterday. I was sitting in the backseat behind my Grandmother and my sister was sitting behind my Grandfather and Papa kept kept telling us that we'll need to drive through the storm and that everything was going to alright. We drive through that storm and made it out just fine.

They love through the great depression, sickness and disease and the deaths of love ones and the births of beautiful babies. They love through High School and College Graduations. Their love was strong it endured my Grandmother's illness, eventually her illiness put her in a Senior Citizen Home and yes my Papa was right there to stand by her side. They committed to love from the start their love was real and endured to the end.

I watched my Grandfather at 85 drive to see my Grandmother each day, he could barely see over the steering wheel. I put a booster pillow in the driver seat, this allowed Papa to see the road better. Papa was determined to get to her no matter what. He'd spend hours at Ms. Birdie bedside holding her hands and stroking her forehand. He was a wonderful comfort to her. Due to her illness she could no longer speak but she responded with her eyes she understood his love.

I'd visit my Grandmother often. Upon my arrival my Grandfather was in his favorite spot sitting by her bedside reading her healing scriptures from the Bible. They had the kind of love that looked passed her weight and dress size. Theirs was the kind of love that looked pass my Grandmothers partial balled head and the fragile grey strands that remained.

Theirs was the kind of love that looked passed how much money was in their bank account. Theirs was an enduring and endearing love. Theirs was a heart-to-heart kind of love that made you sacrifice your own needs for the needs of your Children.

Their marriage was not based on convenience or obligation or career advancement it was genuine, it was pure love. Their love was inspiring they had a special way of communicating not just talking. Their love was founded on biblical principles. They trusted each other and they were patience with each other, my Grandmother preceded my Grandfather in death in June 2001.

After her passing Papa talked often of his love for her; his eye would fill with tears as he spoke of how much he missed her love. And at other times he’d break out with a big smile as if he knew a secret; he cherished her. My Grandparents has that's real thing call love.

I'd like to hear about your heart-to-heart.

Your Health Is Your Wealth

It's time to nurture you. If you're committed to change replace the hard-headed discipline with self-compassion. Every resolution to change begins with a decision. You've vowed to change each year but you realize there are energy drainers in your life that make it tough to change. So what's a girl to do? Dig it that's what, use every resource you've got and get busy.

You're ready to honor your longing commitment for healthier and happier you. Why wait to the New Year to start change? Were close to the last quarter of 2011 you can start right where you are. Deep down you know you're up to the challenge.

However, I must warn you that after your initial enthusiasm wears off and you hit your first setback don't go changing your mind. Yes, you'll hear those old nagging thoughts in your head. "What's wrong with me"? Why can't I make this simple change?" The louder voice of self-doubt will try and creeps in, don't listen. Forget the self doubt it's all about love and making you the number one priority.

Bottom-line is your health is your wealth and you should take proactive steps in making health your first and number one priority. I have been a caregiver for my Mom for many years and I've seen firsthand the ravaging effects of heart disease (Stroke) through the eyes of a caregiver. Nothing can prepare you for what you will walk through. But taking care of you is a good start.

Watching the hospice nurses moving in and out of my Mom's home gives me an up-close and personal look how serious taking care of you should be. It's not just seeing the nurses but interacting with them from week to week and hearing their prognosis and watching my Mom's declining health.

I see firsthand how much medication is ordered and taken on a daily base. My Mom's condition has declined over the years and it has taken its toll emotionally, mentally and physically on her and on our family. Your life is never the same after you lose your health.

As you step out to pursue your life's goal and dreams, we must first take a look at our own well being. Without good health you have nothing, you can dreams big and aspirer to do great things but without the wealth of your good health what's the point?

My aim is simple and that is to inspire you to take better care of you. If not you, then who?

I like to hear how you're taking a proactive approach to your health and well being.

"Finding Your Way"

Wondering whether you're headed in the right direction? I'm glad you stopped by to chat. Feeling like you've lost your way? Let's talk! It's time for change.

What’s holding you back? "Getting Unstuck" Break out of your shell, get out of that rut it’s time.

Pick a new activity; try something you’ve been thinking about for a while. Up for a quick weekend getaway? Perhaps, a new sport is what you crave? My point is to create a new space for yourself, get still and get quiet and listen for your answers.

"Listen" Underneath your mental chatter, you have a clear instinct of how you want your life to look. Get in touch with your inner wisdom, let go of the way you think things are supposed to be.

"Have Faith" Trust that the circumstances in your life are for your development and remember your circumstances are short term temporary and subject to change.

"Notice" The are many gifts in your life. As you work to clarify what's important and who's important in your life, you will have to let some things go! Of course I speak from an experience that was the old way of doings things; those thoughts patterns no longer fit your life that's was then; but this is now. Those old thought patterns worked for where you were, but not for where you’re going.

Don't be afraid to let go of what's not working in your life, it's time to nurture the new you.

I'd like to hear how and what you changed.

"Be Kind To Yourself A Change is Coming"

If being hard on yourself is counter-productive why do we do it? Because we don't love ourselves unconditionally, but we require others to love us unconditionally and not point out our flaws.

Why is that internal critic still playing in your head? It's time to stop the blame game, the shame game and get rid of the guilt and fear of not being perfect. It's time to change the voice in your head; a change is coming get ready.

You can change a negative pattern of thinking or behavior with some self-love. Get ready to replace that habit with a positive message. You can do it! You're mistaking the behavior you want to change for the person that you are, rather than seeing it for what it is. That old nagging habit doesn't serve you anymore. It’s time to cultivate some self-love, ask me how I know?!

1. Love: Acknowledge that you deserve health and happiness and that you're worth the effort it takes to make a positive change.

2. Remind yourself how the specific change you make will support your well-being.

3. Joy: Give yourself credit and celebrate any positive actions you have taken to support yourself in changing, you can do it.

Make big strides in your life by setting small goals. Instead of pledging yourself to an ideal make a commitment to a task you can realistically complete. The best approach to a change is to start where you are.

The path to transformation involves many small steps. Experience each step you make as a positive one. I’d like to hear how you’re changing!

True Success What Is It?

Society points and paints a picture of what it means to be successful. Some believe that success is measured by what one attains in life such as wealth, luxury cars, walking the red carpets and associating with the right people.

Perhaps having a high profile career is success to you? There is nothing wrong with achieving and making your mark in the world. Those external achievements have their place; however those external things can’t take the place of a loving relationship with God. Matthew 6:33-34 is a principle found in the Word of God.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things shall be add unto you. V,34 Therefore take no thought for the morrow for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Society's portrayal of success is often damaging to those who don't know any better, their lives have not been rooted in the Word of God; so there's a false perception of what's real and where illusion comes in.

Success comes when you're rooted in God's Word. Knowing comes when you standing on a firm biblical foundation. A biblical foundation gives you structure and that foundation keeps things in perspective. Once you understand that, it's easy to manage fame, power, or wealth and you're clear on your purpose for wealth. It's all about helping others and building the Kingdom of God.

How do you define Success? I define success as using my God given ability and passion to help others find their gifts.

We all know at least one person that has achieved the world’s standard of living. But do they have joy? I'm speaking about the kind of joy that's not tied to a circumstance or an upcoming event. People are searching and looking for what's real but each time they've come up empty.

There's nothing wrong with success you can have it as long as it doesn't have you. I'd like to hear your success story?

"We All Have A Reason To Be Grateful

Even in the lean times you have a reason to be grateful. It's been a very hectic week and my schedule was been packed with meetings; answering telephone calls and responding to income emails. Additionally, I'd produced and interviewed three amazing guests for our "Women in Jazz" series for CoffeeTalk Jazz Radio and there was the post show wrap-up for each guest.

CoffeeTalk Jazz Radio is hugely popular and to produce at my level takes hours of research and high energy. Before tackling another piece of paper, I decided to step back for a few moments and take a break. I called my sister for energy and to check-in as we often do throughout the day. I wasn't prepared for what she'd share she begin to talk about our family friend Yahcee.

I heard her voice but I could hardly ingest what she was saying. I repeated her words to be sure I was clear. I felt my voice crack as I grasped for air. My sister shared Yahcee’s grave diagnosis of "Brain Cancer".

Yachee has been a wonderful friend and a part of our family for the past 16 years. We haven't seen or heard from Yachee in months, that was unusual. I'd ask my sister every few weeks about Yachee her answer was always the same. "No I have not heard from him" she'd say. We thought he might be away on vacation he traveled extensively after his retirement.

The tiredness I felt earlier left me as my sister told me of Yahcee's fourth surgery to remove a large brain tumor. I couldn’t believe it! I asked her how Yachee was doing she said he's been out of the hospital and home for a week, he didn't sound like himself but he was grateful to be alive.

There are many ways to measure gratefulness and success. I choose to measure my wealth by the breath and health in my body. We all have a reason to be grateful and my number one reason is that I'm alive.

I'd like to hear your reason for being grateful!

"CHALLENGE I CANT".

Does this statement sound familar? "I can't do it!"

How many times have you heard that nagging voice in your head? Cmon be honest, only you can answer that question. We've all heard that voice and sometimes we still hear it. The more you step out in faith and do what you think you can't that nagging voice begins to fade.

When you put off and important task it may seems like laziness, the true culprit may be a mental block. Sometimes you lose confidence in yourself to the extent that you don't want to step out, so you move very cautionously and you don't do anything.

Let's take a closer look at these three Red Flags:

Procrastination
Real problem: Fear of Failure

Notice your stalling is a way to self-handicap it creates the obstacle of insufficient time as and excuse for falling short of your goals. Here's my game plan. I used what's called reframing, it's a simple technique I use to break down any daunting task into small measures goals, and I able to handle any task and I'm effective at reaching my goals.

Careless Mistakes
Real problem: Frustration

I love sports, so I'll use this analogy. Some athletes are good at hiding inner turmoil before game time. High expections are usually at the root of the problem. If you have a seemly impossible ambition and you feel like you may miss the mark, change your focus. Use every available skill at your disposal to reach your goals.

Think back for a moment when you set out to reach that seemingly impossible task. You reached it and even surpassed it, that's stumbling block was only in your mind. It's important to think about the long term benefits of reaching your goal this is a great way to regain your tenacity and stay focused.

Indecision
Real Problem: Insecurity

Did you know it's takes confidence to make a decision? We all experience self-doubt from time to time the key is follow through and consist movement. There is nothing wrong with making a mistake, it's and opportunity to learn more about yourself and how you handle missteps. If you look at your situation from this vantage point you can change the outcomes and achieve postive results.

I'd like to hear how you met your last challenge!

"Climb Every Mountain"

Adventure isn’t something that’s reserved for the extreme athlete anymore, it’s the expression of your heart’s intention and passion for life.

It’s the ability to think big about who you are and how you live life. Have you ever consider climbing a literal mountain? We do it every day without a second thoughts. Life should be and adventure. Adventure is the willingness to embrace challenge and move toward success.

By definition and adventure has an unknown outcome if something has a predetermined outcome it’s not an adventure. I have faced many challenges and found that I'm very adventurous. I know see the uncertainty as the gift of possibility. When you approach everything with an adventure, You'll find a level of engagement and awareness.

The way that I choose to look at obstacles in front of me, is to face every challenge head on. I have to be courageous even if I'm afraid, I found in facing tough situations that's it's easier to embrace the uncertainty which has been a vital part of my growth and developement.

Let’s be adventous and climb mountains together.

"Walking By Faith"

As you walk by faith and wait upon the Lord you learn to see things from his perspective, move at His pace, and function under His directives. As you quiet your heart, you enter His peace.

Waiting times are growing and learning times. Ask me how I know? Do you ever feel like you've lost sight of the big picture? There are days when you run from one thing to the next trying to get everything done; at times it can be draining physically, emotionally and spiritually.

In this time of uncertainty many voices are telling you many things about the market trends. The stocks are up, and then down it’s a lot to keep up with. If you are waiting for trouble to disappear it's not going to happen. In the face of the worlds noise every days brings a new prediction, with all that's going on around you; you have to trust God. Trust him to be the source that supplies all that you need as you make smart financial decisions. I lived through and I'm walking in what I'm sharing with you.

Headlines scream financial losses and the latest pending disaster is just around the corner. With all that is before us we must lean rely and take God at his word walk by faith which means walking by his words
Romans 1:17, says the just shall live by faith. Faith comes by hearing but in order to hear you have to listen. In order to listen you must know his voice just as you know the voice of your family member. You can hope your presence situation or circumstance will change, but you must use you faith in God's word to speak his word and watch the change.
While we do not look at things which are seen but at the things which are not seen. 2 Corinthians 4:18 says: For the things which are seen are temporary and the things which are not seen are eternal. Your present situation is temporary and subject to change. Don’t list to the doubt and fear that tries to drown out the voice of God in your head. But stand and walk in faith knowing that your situation

I'd like to hear how you’ve stood in faith and changed!

You Can Be Successful with the Right Ingredients

You Can Be Successful with the Right Ingredients

Know this that success is God's idea and not man’s made. In the Book of Joshua 1:8 it's clearly says this book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth; but thou shall meditate on it day and night so that you would observe to do according to all that is written in it and you would may your way prosperous and have good success. Success is up to you, but you must have the right principles and the correct plan. Success is not given but it is earned. Success never comes easy but it comes.

What is Success? There is no cookie cutter answer I can’t give you an exhaustive definition of success; Success means something different for everyone. In simple terms success is the attaining of one's personal goals and dreams. However, I want to caution you no matter which way you define success you will still have mountains to climb.


Let’s talk about Adversity:

Adversity is the opposition that you will face as you pursue your goals and dreams. Don’t be discouraged just keep moving the adversity will pass. My husband worked for Delta Airlines for eight years and without warning, he was given a two week notice and told the division he worked in would transfer to Atlanta. We could have moved to Atlanta if my husband agree to taking a lower paying, with little or no moving expenses covered. Or could have taken the three month severance package options to stay in Los Angeles my family lived in Los Angeles so moving to Atlanta was not an option.

As a result of my husbands lay off and sluggish economy the mounting bills kept coming, my one person salary could not sustain a three person household, so we jointly agreed to file bankruptcy which strained our marriage.

The "Chapter 13 Bankruptcy" gave us some relief but it was still a black mark on our credit in my eyes. As a Christian I felt an obligation to pay off the debt we incurred as a couple. The money challenges we faced continued to put distance between my husband and I we eventually separated and later divorced. I’d worked diligently for many years to pay off the bad debt after our joint bankruptcy filing, it was painful and I sacrificed for years to get back on track. I dealt with opposition and adversity it all came at once. I never gave up on my dreams to be a homeowner I learned many valuable lessons about money, relationships, patience’s and forgiveness.

Through my painful spilt and divorce I learned the true value of money, how to save it, when and where to spend it! As a result of the lessons I learned 20 years before I achieved many short term and long terms goals. I kept my eye on the prize and never stopped reaching for my goal.

Years later I walked out of that embarrassing bankruptcy situation having paid off every bill and I was able to slowly rebuilt my credit. I learned tough hard lessons, I never lost sight of becoming a homeowner the goal of homeownership was always in view. With maturity, discipline and self-control I saved $25,000 and use that money as a down payment to purchase my first home. I beamed with pride I as my realtor handed me the keys to my first place.

Let’s Talk about Affiliations and Associations:

The person you marriage the relationship you forge and the people you associate with, will have a tremendous impact on your reaching your goals. It is critical to evaluate your relationships. Are you friends or associates assets or liabilities? Any relationship that impedes your progress is hazard to your future goals.

Let’s talk about your Abilities:

We are all born with certain gifts and abilities. You may be great at math I may be a great orator once you find out what your gift is it’s up to you to develop it and cultivate it. Most people discover their God given ability later in life. When you discover your gift and ability that’s where you true success will come.

I was in my sophomore year in high school and each student was required to pick two electives for the semester. My first elective was Theatre and Dramatic Arts the class was filled and there was a wait list. I was placed on the wait list and asked to select another class. I was very disappointed I really wanted in. I reviewed the list of elective and decided to enroll in expository speech and writing class. Little did I know that at fifteen years old the seeds of greatness were being planted inside me. I was accepted in Mrs. Gloria Wohler class, she was tough and no-nonsense with her students she demanded excellence. Mrs. Wohler taught me how important effective communication works, how to write a well written speech and how or speaker and present myself in any business setting. She saw my writing gift and speaking ability before I saw it in myself. As a result of taking her speech class it changed my life.

As my talent was developed I entered local, state and national speech competition and I won hundreds of dollar to attend college. I had big plans and high hope but there were many road blocks and detours along the way
I didn’t anticipated or factor in being a single Mom, I didn’t factor in my father becoming ill and passing way suddenly. I didn’t factor in my own job lost and divorce. I didn’t factor in completing three years of college and I having to drop out due to lack of money. But, I kept my eye on my goals.

Let’s Talk Academics:

Reaching your goals will require a bit of patience on your part but you must also be we’ll informed. Knowledge is so readily available it’s only a mouse click away. Your local library has a wealth of information and it's wise to use it.

Most people lose out on great opportunities due to lack of knowledge. We live in age where knowledge is power and readily available. You must seek knowledge at all cost. Hosea 4:6 clearly says my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Solemn was one the wisest man that ever lived, but his knowledge didn’t come from the hallowed halls of universities he asked God for wisdom and it was given. You must decide you have what it takes to succeed and overcome in life. Don’t get left behind remember that Success is God’s idea. I'd like to hear your Success story.

" Your Answer is Only a Prayer Away"

For many of you, 2011 has brought a lot of fear and uncertainty about the future. We are tempted every day to believe every word the media and government brings us. The early years of reporting News used to be good and bad, now it's just bad! The News is now readily available on our cell phones, ipads, laptop, desktop, it's seems to be streaming in from everywhere, our communications systems has the ability to blast gloomy pictures of current events from all over the world no wonder most people are on the edge. I'm here to tell you there's a remedy for all of this doom and gloom his name is Jesus.

If you've you been listening to anything other than the promise of God's Word it will cause you to think twice and start talking about the what if’s in life. How many times have you heard this message in your head? What if I don't have enough money to pay my bills? What if I can’t pay my car note? What if my property taxes go up? My children are in college and I need to save money for my retirement. Where does it all end? It starts and ends by having a relationship with Jesus Christ and trusting his Word not the worlds words. I can speak with bold confidence because I have lived and walked through what I’m sharing with you.

I've been a single Mom and my son and I have faced homelessness. I've face divorced and I've lived through a bad relationship and a turbulent marriage. I've had to make hard choices for myself and through it all my heavenly Father was only a Prayer away to lead and guide me. To be lead and guided by the Spirit of God you have to know his voice and that comes from having a relationship with him. When things seem hopeless instead of hopeful I had to look-up.

As I begin to trust God and take him at his Word my financial situation begin to change. I took God at his word, I begin to meditated on the word of God I put it in my heart, I spoke the word of God, I lived the word of God and I was also a tither giving 10% of my unemployment income in the lean times.

My financial situation begin to change. Financial seeds I had planted years before begin to come up,
I would go to my PO Box and there would be checks in the mail from companies I’d worked for fifteen year before. This were large checks made out in my name for thousands of dollars I stood in amazing and cried and thanked God right in the post office I knew it was the providing hand of God.

The checks just kept on coming I’d do a double take because it almost didn’t seem real, but it was very real. Many of the checks came from a stock split or dividend shares. Others checks were pay outs were credit cards companies realized they I'd been over charged in services fee's and interest, still other checks were from former employers that charged me double for personal medical premiums.

In one year I received over $32,000 dollars in unexpected income. And yes, I tithed on that income too. The checks continued to pour in for another two years I knew it was the hand of God. The headlines are screaming losts, market collapses, home foreclosures. Major Retail chains and business are closing their doors. With all that is going on around us your life still testifies of the daily goodness and blessings of God. God is not surprised by anything that goes on in our lives, so now I'm not surprised.

It's says in his word that many are the afflictions of the righteous us but the Lord delivers us out of them all, I have testified to this truth. Don't listen to the nagging voices of doubt and fear which play like a recording in your head 24 hours a day. Trust God. During the lean times there were several scriptures I relied as I walked through the fire, one of my favorite is "Fear Not for I am the Lord thy God and I will go with you and go before you".

The Word of Gods says I'll never leave you nor forsake you or leave you without support. I had to trust that! The world has heard our message; now they need to see us living it. Obstacles and challenges will come and go don't be afraid just look up your answer is only a Prayer away.

I'd love to hear how my story has touched you!